


Be More Chill, Evan Hansen

by OccasionalStorytelling



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccasionalStorytelling/pseuds/OccasionalStorytelling
Summary: Evan Hansen acquires a SQUIP and it looks like Connor Murphy. It decides that the best way to get popular is to have a popular boyfriend--It picks Jared, but Jared needs a SQUIP too for this to work. Mouth-to-mouth transfer was the quickest.





	Be More Chill, Evan Hansen

_Access procedure: complete. Evan Hansen… Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor…Your SQUIP._

 

Once Evan finished screaming and holding his head in pain, he looked up and was surprised to see an attractive boy about his age, absolutely oozing with coolness. A boy who looked like—

 

“You look like Connor Murphy,” Evan said, shocked.

 

_My default setting is the person you thought of when you took the pill. You can also set me for:_ **_ZOE MURPHY. BARACK OBAMA. KEANU—_ **

 

“No, no, Connor is fine!” Evan shrieked.

 

_All right then, freak,_ the SQUIP smiled. _First things first: stop talking to me out loud. You are in school, and everyone thinks you’re talking to yourself._

 

“Then how do I—“ Evan stammered.

 

_Think at me. Like you’re telepathic. I can hear you, trust me. You want to be more chill._

 

Evan thought for a moment.

 

_No. Definitely not. Target female is inaccessible._

 

“What?!? But I didn’t even—“

 

_You thought about it,_ the SQUIP that looked like Connor continued. _That’s my sister—no wait, she’s not. One second, I’m experiencing a minor glitch._ Connor twitched for a moment, eyes flickering a computer-screen blue. _It seems that your brain is attempting to perceive me as possessing qualities similar to the Connor who pushed you down in the hallway. I can work with this. Turn left here._

 

“I’m so confused,” Evan mumbled.

 

_Stop mumbling. Activate muscle control._

 

“WOAH!” Evan screamed, as his legs swirled around a left in the hallway, nearly colliding into Jared.

 

“You didn’t come over to play video games last night,” Jared said. “Not that I was upset or anything…” He was clearly upset.

 

“I’m so sorry Jared, I was busy, I—OW!”

 

_You were slouching. Ask him for a button with my face on it._

 

“Did you just shock me?!?” 

 

_Yes._

 

“So, um…Jared? Do you still have those buttons with Connor’s face on them?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jared said. He pulled one of of his backpack and handed it to Evan. “Hey, did you take the pill? Did the SQUIP thing actually work?”

 

“Yeah, ha ha!” Evan laughed awkwardly.

 

“We’re totally hanging out tonight. I want to see how it works! There was a reason I was the only CIT with keycard access to the computer lab over the summer—“ Jared was saying.

 

_This one is a more acceptable mate,_ Connor said. _But too low in social status._ He grinned evilly. _You should get him a SQUIP too, Evan._

 

“What? How?” Evan asked. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to get Jared a SQUIP…he was kind of hoping that being cool would be his own personal thing, like he could order pizza without worrying about standing there in silence while the pizza guy made change.

 

_Like this,_ Connor said, and he pushed Evan into Jared’s arms.

 

“Evan? What are you—“ Jared began, but Evan was kissing him and every thought flowed out of his head. He kissed back.

 

Evan watched as if from a distance. “But—I’m not gay,” Evan said to his SQUIP.

 

_That’s not what these neural patterns are saying,_ Connor said. _I’m seeing memories from kindergarten in which you saw Jared, and—_

 

“Okay, okay,” Evan blushed. “I get it. But Jared would never like me like _that,_ anyway.”

 

_—And more memories from last week, in which…well, we can work on cutting down on the masturbation. Hush. I’m upping your pheromones. And Jared seems to be enjoying himself. Twine your fingers through his hair._

 

Evan kissed Jared and it seemed to go on forever.

 

_And we’re done,_ Connor said. _Up up down down left right A._

 

“Evan, we should go buy you a new shirt,” Jared said.

 

“What was that?” Evan asked.

 

_When you kissed Jared, I upgraded him too. Then I synced with his SQUIP. Get ready to climb the social ladder with your new boyfriend, Evan._ Connor put him arm around Evan and guided him, and Jared, gently towards the mall.


End file.
